Thursday, July 19, 2012

First post


Cancer. It’s a word you hear all the time. It’s a scary disease. Everyone knows someone who has battled or died from cancer.

The word takes a new meaning when you hear you have it.

I was alone at home when I first heard I had cancer.

I admit it, I cried like a baby when I found out I had testicular cancer. The doctor told me over the phone because he wanted to make sure I came back in to see him. 

He avoided the word cancer at first. Saying they found a tumor and things like that. But I needed to hear him say it, so I kept asking questions.

He finally said the words testicular cancer and my worst fears were realized. I had been researching on the internet like we all do and had my fingers crossed it was a hernia. Imagine that, hoping you had a hernia?

I remained calm on the phone, but once I hung up I began to cry. I admit I have cried before but never quite like that. I probably looked like a bad actor over doing it. I’m kind of glad nobody saw it, but I’m not ashamed to admit I did it.

My wife knew the doctor had called, but I waited until she got home to tell her.

Learning I had cancer was hard, telling everyone I loved about it was even harder. First I told my wife then my mom over the phone. I wanted to tell my mom in person, but she drug it out of me.

Eventually everyone close to me found out and I began to prep for surgery.

To think it all started because of a little pain. A pain I’m glad I did not ignore like many men in my situation do.

First I had to see my family doctor, then the urologist and then the always fun ultrasound of your testicles.
But if I waited it could have been a lot worse.

I originally thought of doing a blog when I was first diagnosed, but there was a chance I would have it removed and maybe a little radiation then be done.

Unfortunately that has not been the case.

My type of cancer (95 percent NonSeminoma) is not treated by radiation and is a much more aggressive form. But still after I had my surgery there was an 70-80 percent chance the surgery cured me because I was considered Stage I.

For four months I hoped I was done with cancer. I recently found out my battle is not over and I will have to do three rounds of chemotherapy (BEP).

I had a port put in my shoulder on Monday and start chemo on July 23.

Each round last three weeks so I have a rough nine weeks ahead of me.

People have asked me if I’m scared? The answer is of course yes. Who wouldn’t be?

I might be scared, but I am going into chemo with confidence I will beat this.

The odds are on my side (in the 90s). This blog is going to be part of my fight. I’m going to tell all the good things and the bad.

I don’t really like drawing attention to myself, but in this case I will have to suck it up.

People often tell my wife they don’t bring up my cancer to me because they don’t want to upset me. That’s fine. It’s a tough thing to talk about and it’s uncomfortable, but if anyone has a question just ask me. You have my permission.

Well that’s all for my first post. Hope you enjoyed it. I will try my best to update as much as possible. Thanks for reading.

6 comments:

  1. Stay strong Dave! I love you
    -Alaina

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  2. Dave, I am so shocked to hear about your diagnosis. I can only imagine what you're going through. My sister had lymphoma a couple years ago and had to get the port and go through chemo and everything too. Words like "difficult" don't even begin to explain how those times were for her and our whole family. Optimism from my sister and everyone around was crazy though and went a long way. I hope you're fortunate enough to be able to keep strong positivity too. I'll be following your blog and keeping you in my thoughts. I wish you the very best of luck!

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  3. David,
    Your strength inspires me. I was with my best friend from beginning to end during her cancer and one of the things that helped her was writing. She was brutally honest and at times comical (she had breast cancer and would narrate mammograms etc from beginning to end). Her attitude was the same as yours, confident. She is doing wonderful 6 years later and she told me the other day that writing and family are what kept her spirits high and her attitude positive. Many prayers sent your way!

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  4. Dave,

    You got this! I love you and I am so proud of you. Kick cancers ass!

    Renee

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  5. Dear David,

    geez..you are an awesome writer. Ever thought of writing a novel? hahaha

    Well, I dont have much to say except that I picture the battle inside of you to be something like WWE and it seems like you are the hulk and you are battling captain underpants; You're the detroit pistons and you're battling capac high school's basketball team - you're Spain's UEFA soccer team vs. some random people that get together to play for fun on Saturdays. In other words, pick up a chair and smash that cancer against the rim and then sit on it until it passes out unconscious and they drag him outta there. Dominate the court and make it go away crying for even showing up in the first place. Use your irish roots to beat cancer rugby style and scream at it "YOU CANT BEAT THIS LATINO!!!" michael pemberton style.

    We're all rooting for you and with such an extensive support group cheering you on (whether theyre right there with you in the arena or supporting you from afar)... there's no way you should feel alone for a single second.

    - Kristin

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  6. David, I admire your honesty in your blog. Most men find it hard to admit how scared they are when they get a call from their doctor like you did. Please know that you that you have been in my thoughts and prayers since I heard the news. At our house, we know how tough it is hearing someone you love has cancer.

    You are now a cancer survivor~not a cancer victim but a survivor. You became a survivor the day your doctor called and gave you the news. Survivors fight and I know you will fight this with everything you have.

    If I can give you just a little advice~make sure you let Dina fight with you. Being the "man of the house" you will want to protect her from your fears, the ugliness of cancer, don't, she doesn't need you to be strong, she will need you to be honest with you. She will need to be strong for you. Let her in, share with her and the two of you together will be stronger than the "C" word and you will win this battle.

    I believe in you and I am available for you. If you need anything just let me know. I'm here for your mom too and I promise to be available to help her when the "MOM" mode kicks in.
    Love
    Aunt Eileen

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